


You're the reason why I'm okay again.

by DamnSawyer



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: 2x14 and 5x16 references, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Break Up, Smut, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-29
Updated: 2020-04-12
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:35:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23379220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DamnSawyer/pseuds/DamnSawyer
Summary: Jeremiah's dead, and Alex still has two speed dials on her phone...
Relationships: Alex Danvers/Maggie Sawyer
Comments: 105
Kudos: 262





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> After watching some clips from 5x16 I wondered what if Alex still had two speed dials on her phone?  
> Used some dialogues from 2x14 and 5x16, minor mentions of Kelly, but Sanvers is endgame!
> 
> \-------  
> unbeta'd, all mistakes are mine.

_You know I have I have two speed dials on this phone. It's you... And Maggie. And every day, every single day, I look at this phone and I wanna call her. And then I wanna delete her. But I can't so either because I'm scared and I'm weak._

Soft knocking on the door broke the silence in the room, the silent tears pooling in her eyes. Her hands were shaking, wrapped around the glass bottle, filled with amber liquid. 

_Yeah._

The voice was hoarse, tired from crying and suffering, but loud enough for the woman behind the door to hear it. 

Another presence filled the room, coming closer, soft perfume surrounded her, and Alex softly choked; Maggie. 

_Hey._ _What's wrong?_

Her voice was soft, gentle, breaking her dark thoughts. Maggie got closer, eyes resting on Alex. 

_How was your dad's first day?_

And all Alex did was taking another sip of the alcoholic liquid, letting it burn in her throat. She sighed, another sip, more alcohol lingering on her lips, warming her from the inside. 

_That good, huh?_

She got worried, Alex didn't call like she promised she would. And now she found her in her apartment, alone, drinking. 

Maggie moved closer, fingertips aching to touch her, to let her know she was here for her. 

A soft sob escaped Alex and her hands reached out, trying to refill the now empty glass, but Maggie was fast, faster than an intoxicated Alex, who was drowning her pain, her grief in alcohol. 

_Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, okay, hold on._

Maggie got comfortable on the stool, leaning closer to look Alex in the eyes. But Alex couldn't look up, too afraid to break down in front of her girlfriend. 

Maggie's soft voice filled the room, hands not leaving her leg, softly running up and down, hoping to help Alex to relax. 

_Hey. I'm here. Okay. You can tell me anything._

And Alex just nodded, eyes closing for a second to take the moment, the soft touch, in. Maggie was here, Maggie was real. Maggie was her safe place, she was safe with her, safe in her arms. 

_Hey, look at me_. 

Gently, Maggie lifted Alex's chin, soft, worried eyes met sad ones. Grief, pain, sadness was visible in Alex's eyes, and Maggie's heart broke for the woman she was deeply in love with. 

_What happened with your dad?_

Another sob filled the room, and Maggie got up quickly, pulling Alex close. 

_Oh, sweetie_. 

And another sob ripped from her throat, clutching Maggie's shirt, pulling her closer. The past hours were crashing down on her, the search for her dad, the confrontation in the woods, the gun, pointing at her dad. 

She never wanted to pull the trigger, but the temptation was there. She just got him back, she wasn't ready to lose her dad again. But then he left, and Alex found herself on the ground, crying. 

Alex gripped her girlfriend's plaid shirt tightly, pulling her closer too. She melted in her embrace, her soft, steady heartbeat helped her to control her breathing. 

_It's okay._

And Alex broke down, sobbing, shaking.

***

_Years later…_

Maggie was gone, and so was her dad. She hadn't heard from him in a while. He was probably still on the run, hiding from Cadmus, from the DEO. Alex didn't even know if he was still alive?! 

It was late when the phone call came. Alex was at her apartment, ready to settle for the night. A drink in one hand, a slice of pepperoni pizza in the other one.

It was her mom who broke the news to her. 

_Mom, hey._ _What's wrong?_

Her voice was soft, gentle, filled with so much pain and sorrow. 

Seconds later, the glass hit the floor, liquid spread over the floor, shattered in million little pieces, followed by her heart. 

Hours later she stood in front of Kara's apartment, eyes red from crying. Her hand was shaking as she knocked on the door. 

Kara opened the door with a smile, eyes bright, glistening with joy and happiness. But then she saw Alex, the tears in her eyes. 

_Alex? What is it?_

Something was wrong.

_Mom just called me. They found Dad._

She wasn't ready to break the news to Kara, to repeat her mother's words. Telling Kara would mean it was real, and she wasn't ready to face the reality. 

_Jeremiah?_

Alex just nodded, one hand grasping the doorknob, the other one running through her hair. Her heart was pounding so fast, so loud, making it difficult for her to speak. She took a deep breath, steadied herself, as the words slipped over her lips… 

_He's dead._

***

 _Vulnerable_. 

A word she wouldn't use to describe herself. Especially not in this difficult time. She needed to be strong, emotionless. She was the strong one, the brave one, putting up a facade for her mom and her sister. Showing feelings and emotions wasn't something she could afford. 

Not everyone understood this behavior, but it was working fine for her. It helped her to control herself not to break down in front of everyone. 

When she got the news that her dad was dead, her first instinct was to call _her_. Alex felt safe in her presence, not afraid to show her vulnerability, her broken self.

And she was longing to reach out, just to hear her voice, her soft words telling her that it's okay to be in pain, to feel emotions. 

She couldn't. 

And she shouldn't. 

A few days passed, and one morning brought a lot of arguments, harsh words, bottled up emotions and feelings up. She was in her apartment, Kara stood in front of her, trying to understand what her sister was feeling. 

Yesterday, when Alex, Kara and Eliza spent the night making arrangements, everything seemed to be okay. Memories, feelings and even some laughs were shared. For a few hours, the three of them lived in the past, in an easier time. 

But now, it seemed like yesterday never happened. 

_I... I know you're in pain._

_I'm not in pain._

_Of course, you are._

_Okay, stop telling me how I feel._

Alex got angry, Kara was pushing her, pushing her closer to the edge, and her sister should know when to stop. 

_Okay, then you tell me how you feel._

Alex closed her eyes, taking some deep breaths. She felt herself breaking, angry words were forming in her mind, slipping over her lips. 

_Look, the man that I loved hasn't been a father to me in years. And... and, yes. Yes, we were so close that we could just... we could finish each other's sentences. But his obsession with keeping you safe changed all of it. Nothing else mattered to him, the least of all me._

_That is not true._

_Come on, Kara. He treated you like you were some golden girl, and of course, you have love for him, and I totally respect that. But he treated me like I wasn't even worth his time._

Her voice was getting louder, her words were filled with so much anger, pain, and sadness. And Kara stood there, taking every word, like it was some punishment, and it broke Alex to see the pain in her eyes, but the words kept coming, filling the silent room.

_Okay. So, what do you want me to tell Eliza?_

_I don't care._

_You don't care. You don't care what I tell our grieving mother?_

_I have spent my entire life protecting this whole family, and I will not do it again._

She was done, for once in her life she needed to look after herself, her own feelings. Yes, it was incredibly selfish, and she would judge everyone else if they were behaving like this, but Alex just didn't care. 

Kara shook her head, silently judging her sister for the decision she made. And so, Kara left her alone, leaving her sister in the hands of her girlfriend. 

She was grieving, time didn't matter at this time, as she opened a full bottle of whiskey. Not even bothering pouring herself a drink, she brought the bottle to her lips, the smell of the alcohol filled her nose, and she took a big sip. 

_It's a bit early for that._

She looked up, her girlfriend was still here. She looked worried, arms crossed, eyes locked on the whiskey. 

_Don't._

She took another sip and another one. Ignoring the look on her girlfriend's face, as the liquid filled her body with warmth. 

_Look, I get it. You know I have had a lot of loss. I know how you feel._

Alex shook her head, Kara wasn't the only one who pushed her, who wanted her to talk about her feelings. All she wanted was to be on her own, her friend Jack Daniel's would keep her company. 

_You have no idea... how I feel. I have mourned the loss of my father multiple times._

She was angry, tears pooling in her eyes, threatening to break free. The pain she was feeling was unbearable. It was breaking her, eating her alive. 

_You have no idea this stabbing pain here. I'm losing him over and over and over again. And I really... I really can't tolerate being psychoanalyzed by my girlfriend right now._

_I'm sorry._

Another sip, thinking about her next words. Damage was already done, and Alex knew that every word that was spoken now, would ruin her relationship. 

_So rather than your apology, what I want is to be left alone._

And Kelly looked so hurt, she just wanted to be there for Alex, to help her with the pain, to help her understand that she wasn't alone, that she had people in her life who cared about her. 

_Okay. I will give you space. But just know that I love you and I'm here for you unconditionally. And when you're ready, just call._

A few hours later she called, but not her girlfriend. 

***

"No, Sawyer, no. Don't go. It's still early, and the happy hour just started." Robyn Woods wrapped her arms over her friend, as hot breath brushed Maggie's cheek. "You promised me that I can kick your ass in a game of pool." 

Maggie just laughed, squeezing Robyn's hand gently. "I did promise you that, you're right. But I'm needed at the precinct tomorrow morning and working with a headache is something I don't recommend." 

Robyn sighed, lips placed closely to Maggie's ear as soft words were whispered; playing dirty was one of Robyn's specialties. And Maggie just gulped, trying hard to resist the temptation.

Robyn was gorgeous and saying _no_ was hard for Maggie. "One more drink, okay? And I promise you you can kick my ass another time. Deal?" 

"Deal." And Robyn was already on her way to the bar, not ready to give up yet. 

Maggie just shook her head, a small smile on her face. Her fingers were playing with the label on her beer bottle, eyes following Robyn to the bar. She knew her friend had something in mind, something to change _her_ mind, but for once Maggie needed to focus on her work and the case she had. Every distraction could risk losing her lead, and she couldn't afford that. 

She was working hard on that case, two missing kids, disappeared after school, with no trace or lead. But hard police work paid off and Maggie finally had a lead, a suspect. And tomorrow morning she would discuss the next steps with her team and the commissioner. 

Deep in thoughts, she didn't realize her phone was going off, announcing an incoming call. It was Robyn, back from the bar, who broke her out of her thoughts. 

"Sawyer, your phone, sounds important."

And Maggie just shook her head, confused for a second before she realized that it was her phone who tried to get her attention. And when she looked at the caller ID, she gulped. 

_Alex_. 

Fingers were slightly shaking, as she took the call. "Danvers", Maggie breathed, afraid that Alex could hear her shaking voice. 

But she didn't hear a word, and when Maggie checked her phone, she was still connected, but no words were spoken. All she heard was hard breathing and a few sobs. 

"Alex, are you okay?" She hadn't heard from Alex in a while and suddenly she called, and all she could hear was her ex-fiancée crying. 

Another sob broke free, followed by a soft, broken voice. "I'm sorry for calling, Maggie."

Maggie felt her heart breaking for Alex, and she stood up, leaving the bar to be there for Alex. "Don't be sorry, never feel sorry for calling me, Alex."

And Alex sighed. "I don't even know why I've called you. I'm so stupid. I have a girlfriend, oh my god. I shouldn't even be talking to you."

Maggie ignored the pain in her chest as Alex mentioned a girlfriend. She sounded in pain, and Maggie promised herself to listen to Alex and what she had to say. "Alex, relax. Open the window, get some fresh air." 

The line went silent and Maggie could hear that Alex opened a window. "Okay, you opened the window?"

"I'm on the balcony." 

"Okay, take some deep breaths. Let the fresh air fill your lungs. In and out. In and out. Yes, you got this."

Maggie's soothing voice and words helped Alex to calm down, to relax. There was no need to panic, it was just a phone call, she wasn't cheating on her girlfriend. She just trusted Maggie with her pain, her sorrow, her feelings, there was nothing wrong about calling her. 

Maggie leaned against the brick wall, eyes staring at the sky, counting the stars, waiting for Alex to say something. But all she heard was soft breathing, and Maggie knew Alex calmed down. "You feeling better Alex?"

"Yes, thank you." 

"Okay, you wanna tell me what happened?" 

"They've found him…. My dad."

"Oh. That's good, isn't it?"

"He's dead, Maggie." 

"Oh, sweetie."

It was a slip, but old habits die hard, and no one mentioned it. And it didn't mean a thing, no need to worry about it. 

"It just hurts, you know. And everyone tells me how I feel, not asking how I really feel. I'm exhausted, I just want this pain to go away.”

And Maggie nodded, she understood her, and she would just listen to her if she needed. "I'm here Alex, you can talk to me. I'll listen."

***

Maggie and Alex spent hours on the phone, talking and listening. And Alex opened up, about her feelings, about the pain she felt. How broken she was, not ready to bury her father again. Saying goodbye for good would break her, afraid she would never recover from it. 

Talking to Maggie helped her, she wasn't judging her or trying to tell her how she felt. She listened, and that was all Alex needed at the moment. Even the alcohol was forgotten. 

A soft knock on her door interrupted her call with Maggie, and even though she didn't want to say goodbye, it probably was about time. "I need to go, Maggie. Someone's at the door. Thank you for listening." 

"Always, Danvers. I'm here for you, always remember this." 

Alex nodded, knowing that Maggie couldn't see her, but she felt a sob in her throat making it impossible for her to thank her. 

And when Alex opened the door, the sob broke out of her, as arms wrapped around Alex, hugging her tight. 

_Maggie_. 

Maggie was here. 

Offering comfort no one else could. 

And Alex broke down in Maggie's arms.

tbc? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Should I continue? :)
> 
> Come find me @leighftlima


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will you be there with me?   
> I'll be there with you and if you need, for you too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for leaving kudos and comments! And there's so many of them, thank you! 🥰
> 
> So, here's part two! Hope you guys enjoy.

No one talked, comfortable silence was shared between the two of them. Maggie tightened her arms around Alex, letting her fall in the embrace. This was what she was craving, silent comfort. Being in someone else's arms, safe and sound, shielded from pain and sorrow. 

Maggie always understood her and her needs, always putting her and her feelings first, never pressuring her to talk about her feelings, her thoughts. 

She felt loved, the love Maggie poured in the hug. And it broke Alex, a silent cry ripped through her body, tears streaming down her face, soaking Maggie's black jacket. 

She held tight, afraid to let go, afraid to find out that this might have been just a dream. Afraid to wake up alone in her bed, craving to be in Maggie's arms. 

"Alex." A soft whisper broke the silence, Maggie moved lightly, not letting Alex go. "Let's go inside. Your couch looks comfortable." 

Alex nodded slightly, closing the door behind Maggie. "Maggie, you have no idea…" 

Maggie held her hand up, interrupting her. "I'll always care, Alex. No matter what happened between us years ago. So, why don't you put on something more comfortable and I'm making us tea? And then we can talk if you want?" 

"Thank you, I would like that." And while Alex slipped into more comfortable clothes, grey sweatpants, and a black hoodie, Maggie prepared fresh tea in the kitchen. 

Moving around in Alex's kitchens felt so familiar, teacups and kettle were still in the same places, the water tap still stuck lightly, and Maggie chuckled softly. Alex kept telling her she would fix it and didn't allow Maggie to call her landlord to get it done. 

Maggie filled the kettle with hot water, placed it on the store and opened drawers and cupboards looking for tea bags. "You good with green tea?" Maggie asked, turning around. 

Alex was on the couch, making herself comfortable on it, snuggled up in a soft blanket. "Green tea is okay, thank you." She leaned back, eyes on Maggie, watching every single step she took. It felt so domestic, it remembered her of her past with Maggie. Of the many evenings, they've spent on  _ their _ couch, sipping tea, talking about their days, their nights. And Maggie was always the one preparing tea, not trusting Alex around the kitchen, joking that she could even burn water. 

The kettle started whistling and Maggie poured the hot water into the two cups, hot steam rising. Maggie took the two cups and made her way to Alex and handed her a cup. "Be careful, it's hot." 

Alex whispered a quiet  _ thank you _ , hands wrapping around the hot cup, fingers brushing Maggie's. Alex brought the cup to her face, hot steam warming her face, and took a small sip. 

"You wanna change into something comfortable too?" Alex asked, eyes resting on Maggie, who took off her shoes and sat down on the couch, arms wrapped around her legs, hot cup of tea in her hands. 

Maggie shook her head. "I'm good, but thank you." She felt it too. The domesticity at this moment, and how important it was to pay attention not to slip back in their old night routine. She cleared her throat and chose her next words carefully. "I'm here for you. You can talk to me… I heard you're the Director now?" 

Alex nodded, surprised that Maggie knew about that. "Yes, for quite some time now. It's challenging me, but it helps me to keep Kara and the city safe... This is what my dad always wanted from me. Keeping Kara safe."

Alex took another sip from her tea, and Maggie's heart broke for her. "You matter, Alex. You and your feelings are important too. Never forget that. And even if your dad always wanted from you to look after Kara, your happiness matters too."

"But why don't I feel like that?" Alex sighed, frustrated, thinking about Kara, Kelly, literally everyone who tried to tell Alex how to feel and not one of them listened to her. "Everyone's telling me how to feel, assuming they know how I feel. No one's taking their time to listen to me and how I really feel. All I ever did was looking after everyone, making sure they're okay, safe. But when it's about me, and my pain, my grief, no one's looking after me. And it hurts. It hurts so much, Maggie." A soft sob escaped Alex's throat, and she brushed her tears away, ashamed to be crying again. 

Maggie moved a little bit closer, fingers brushing Alex's leg, softly curling around her ankle. "Tell me. Tell me how you really feel." 

"I feel… empty. I don't know what to feel. When my dad left me, years ago, I felt so angry, disappointed. We just got him back, and it felt like the good old times. I thought we could be a family again, you know. But then he betrayed me, my family, and just left. Left without explaining himself or why. And I wanted revenge, I wanted to take down Cadmus. But time was passing and I just, I stopped thinking about my dad. And I feel bad about that. Maybe I should have looked for him. As the Director I have many resources, it would have been easy for me to find him. But now, he's dead, gone forever and I've lost him." She couldn't hold the heartbreak any longer, gut-wrenched sobs tore through her chest, angry tears running down her cheeks. She promised she would keep her family safe, but failed miserably and now her dad was gone forever. 

"Oh, Alex." It was a soft whisper, followed by Maggie moving closer, wrapping Alex in her arms, her head hid in the hollow of her neck, tears wetting her skin. Her grip tightened, bringing Alex down with her to lay on the couch, trying to find a comfortable position. "I'm here, Alex. I'm not going anywhere." 

***

"My dad had so many plans for our future. He wanted to teach me so many things," Alex said, sitting down next to Maggie, handing her a beer. "He was obsessed with the solar system, the different star constellations. We spent the nights on the rooftop, stargazing, admiring stars forming familiar shapes. It was my favorite activity with my dad. And when Kara came to live with us, we shared our knowledge of our solar system, our star constellations and she was so in awe, learning new, different things. And my mom always made us hot chocolate, tiny marshmallows on top, reminding us to stay safe and warm."

Alex stopped herself for a second. An old memory was bubbling on the surface, and it made her smile for a moment. Maggie touched her knee lightly, wanting to know why Alex was smiling softly. 

"It's stupid," Alex said, shrugging her shoulders, But Maggie encouraged her to talk about it. Tonight was about Alex, and Alex only. "It was the summer before he die- disappeared for the first time. It was another regular night on the rooftop. I remember how chilly it was and my dad gave me his hoodie…" And Alex interrupted herself again, pointing at the hoodie she was wearing. "We talked about my future, my plans for the summer. And I remember it so clearly, it was getting late, my mom told us to leave the roof, and he pulled me in his arms, hugging me tightly and told me how proud he was of me, and that the nights we spent together stargazing were his favorite and that he couldn't wait to teach his grandchildren all about the star constellations. But now he's gone and can't do that… And I'm so sorry. "

Alex was too scared to look Maggie in the eyes. She knew how dangerous it was to bring up the topic kids, afraid it would ruin the moment.

But Maggie smiled at Alex, squeezing her hand softly. "Keep those memories alive. Talk about your dad, share memories with your family, your friends. He's done so much good in your life, he raised you well, helping you to grow into the woman you're today. Be proud."

"He had his flaws, but so does everyone else," Alex said, sipping on her beer. "He's been a good dad, I'm thankful for those memories. Will you excuse me for a moment?" 

Maggie just nodded and followed Alex with her eyes, who got up and left for the bathroom. 

"Alex?" Maggie waited a moment and when Alex turned around she continued. "One day it will be you who's teaching your kids all about the solar system and the star constellations."

Alex choked, not looking Maggie in the eyes and closed the door behind her. 

And Maggie? 

Maggie felt like screaming and dying inside. She could handle Alex mentioning kids, it was just for a moment, no need for Maggie to even reply. So, why did she? 

***

"Thank you for making all the way from Gotham to listen to me," Alex said, pouring coffee in her cup. "It was nice to talk to someone who did not try to tell me how I feel. So, thank you for that." 

And Maggie just smiled, putting on her jacket and her shoes. "Anytime, Danvers. It was nice talking to you. I've missed this… So, maybe we could do it again? Catching up? I would like it if we could be friends?" 

Alex smiled, ignoring the little butterflies dancing in her stomach. "Would love that. It was nice seeing you, but I should go. I'm staying for a few days here, need to find a nice hotel for me. But you call me if you need someone to talk, okay?" 

"I will, thank you." Alex put down the cup, moving closer, slightly opening her arms. "Can I hug you goodbye?" And when Maggie nodded, Alex pulled her in a hug, holding her close, hoping she wouldn't notice those tiny butterflies going crazy in her stomach. 

"See you around, Danvers." And with a smile on her face, Maggie left, the thought of being friends with Alex on her mind. She missed Alex. Missed their talks, missed spending nights together watching some dumb cop movie Maggie would overanalyze. She missed hearing about Alex's day, her night, when she was needed at the DEO to work in the lab. 

So, friends were good, she could do friends. 

***

The day of the funeral was here, the arrangements were made, and Alex still decided not to attend. The last few days got her thinking and she wasn't ready to say goodbye to her dad. Her family, girlfriend, friends tried their best to convince Alex to go, to say goodbye to her father for the last time. 

_ Mom wants you there, Alex. _

_ Alex, it's your dad, you need to go. Think about your family, you need to be strong together.  _

_ You'll regret not saying goodbye to him.  _

And while everyone tried to guilt trip her in attending, it was Maggie who found the right words to say. 

_ Last year I had to bury my aunt, and saying goodbye to her was one of the hardest things I've ever done in my life. She was there for me when no one else was. She took me in, raised me. And still, I refused to attend her funeral. But the night before her funeral I realized that I'm not going to say goodbye to her but to honor her. By showing up, I thanked her for being there for me. I'm not telling you what do you, I'm just sharing with you what I've done and maybe you'll feel the same way.  _

Alex read the message, again and again. And minutes later, she replied with.  _ Will you be there with me? _

_ I'll be there with you and if you need, for you too.  _

Maggie greeted her with a hug, and a soft smile, hands gripped her arms, squeezing lightly. "You got this, Alex. Go at your own pace, don't let anyone push you, okay? I'll be in the back if you need me."

Alex thanked her silently, so grateful to have Maggie with her today before she joined her mother and sister, who were waiting for her. 

As promised, Maggie stayed in the back, not drawing any attention to her. She listened to J'onn, who shared stories about Jeremiah, she chuckled with Kara, when she told a cover up story to everyone how Jeremiah helped her to settle in, and her heart broke for Eliza as she said goodbye to her husband and soulmate. 

And when it was Alex's turn, she listened carefully, thinking about her, sending her positive thoughts and strength. "Saying goodbye always hurts. There's no way to do it without feeling pain. But a friend told me that today doesn't have to be about saying goodbye. I'm here to honor a man who raised me with so much love and admiration, showing me that hard work will always pay off. A man, who selflessly took in Kara, giving her a new family. A man, who showed my mom every day how blessed he was to wake up next to her."

***

"Eliza, I'm so sorry for your loss." Maggie appeared in front of Eliza, a small smile on her face, as the older woman opened her arms. 

"Maggie, sweetie," Eliza said, hugging her tight. "Thank you. I didn't know you would be here. Have you met Alex yet?" 

"Well, she's the reason I'm here. She called me days ago and told me about Jeremiah." 

"I assume you're the reason why she's here also?" Maggie nodded. "Thank you. Kara and Kelly tried their best to change Alex's mind."

Kelly?

She never heard the name in the last few days, but she was pretty sure Eliza was talking about Alex's girlfriend. "Uhm, Eliza, I need to go, my flight is leaving in a few hours. Can you say Alex goodbye from me and how proud I am?" 

Her flight would leave tomorrow morning, but the last few days made her realize that her feelings for Alex never faded away. And seeing her with her new girlfriend would break her. 

Eliza nodded but then she spotted her daughters coming their way. "You can say goodbye to her yourself. She's coming with Kara."

And so, Maggie said  _ Hi _ to Alex and Kara, hugging the younger one and smiling proudly at Alex. "Proud of you, Alex. Knew my words would change your mind."

"You?! It was you!" And Kara pulled Maggie in another hug, trying not to crush her bones. "Thank you! I was so lost, didn't know what to say to Alex to make her come." 

Maggie smiled. "Happy to help." 

"Hey, Alex. Where's Kelly? Didn't see her at the funeral?" Kara turned around, looking at her sister. 

"She couldn't make it," Alex said, shrugging her shoulders. "Hey, Maggie, care to join me for a walk?" 

"Of course not, lead the way," she answered, pointing in any direction. And when her eyes crossed Eliza's, she just smiled and knew that she understood. 

Both walked in silence. Alex tried to start the conversation but didn't know how. And Maggie sensed that Alex was struggling. "Talk to me." 

"We broke up," Alex blurted out. 

Maggie was confused for a second. "We did, yeah." 

"No, I'm talking about Kelly and I. We broke up today, an hour before the funeral," Alex confessed and stopped, waiting for Maggie to do the same. "We got in an argument, she pushed me again to open up. She was mad at me for not talking to her. Accused me of pushing her away, not letting her in my life."

"I'm sorry, Alex." She wasn't lying. She really felt sorry for Alex. She just wanted her to be happy, even if it wasn't with her. 

"I don't even feel sad. I mean I do feel sad, but not because we broke up. The last few days have been the worst but also one of the best ones in my life. It made me realize who really cares about me and Maggie, you helped me through those dark times. There are no words to describe how grateful I am to have you in my life again…. And maybe, you don't feel the same but I..." Alex got closer, her hand reaching for Maggie's, and when she didn't pull away, she intertwined her fingers with Maggie's. 

And Maggie just smiled, pulling Alex closer, who wrapped her arm around her waist. 

Losing her dad has been a painful experience, and Alex wasn't sure if she could go through all those pain again. But Maggie, Maggie helped her so much without even realizing and Alex promised her, that it will take a lifetime of firsts to make it up to her… 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who wants part three? :)
> 
> Come find me @leighftlima


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh God, she definitely wasn't reading her signals wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for leaving kudos and comments! And for liking this story!  
> There's going to be smut in this chapter, because what's a reunion fic without smut? ;)  
> \-----  
> unbeta'd, all mistakes are mine!

"Hi, can I have some eggs and bacon, and coffee with milk?" Alex asked the waitress, looking at her and when she wrote everything down, she continued. "And can this one have two sesame seed bagels, double toasted and a black coffee?" 

And the waitress nodded again, writing the order down and left to start preparing their breakfast.

Maggie just smiled at Alex, dimples on full display, and her eyes shone brightly. "You remember?" 

"Of course," Alex said, blushing. "It's the grossest thing someone could eat, how can I forget?"

Both laughed softly. 

Alex remembered so much more. She never forgot how Maggie liked her breakfast, that tiramisu was her happy food, that a glass of scotch calmed her racing mind when work was hell, and her love for bonsai trees and how Alex always thought it was weird but adorable. 

She never forgot the dimples, and the head tilt, a deadly combination. How clingy Maggie was in the morning, after a night filled with love and passion. How in love she was with Alex's body, and how she could spend hours and hours worshipping it, kissing every scar, trailing kisses down her body, lower and lower and lower. 

Alex blushed again. 

"What are you thinking about, huh?" Maggie caught her in her thoughts, and Alex just shook her head. "Oh, nothing, hmm? Why are you blushing then?" 

"Maggie, stop," Alex whined, hands over her face, hiding from the embarrassment. Even after all those years Maggie still had the same effect on her, and it was annoying that Maggie knew. 

"I'm just kidding," Maggie said, hands reaching over the table to take them from Alex's face. "Hey, hey, look at me." And when Alex did, Maggie smiled at her softly, but a small smirk was forming on her lips. "You're not the only one."

Alex groaned. "Stop it, oh my god." But she smiled and laughed. Enjoying the banter between them, as nothing happened.

Maggie took Alex's hand, intertwining her fingers with hers, thumb brushing over soft skin. "How are you, Alex? The last few days must have been exhausting for you." Maggie stopped with the teasing, there were still some things they needed to talk about. 

Before Alex could answer, the waitress appeared at the table with their breakfast, putting it down in front of them. "Here you go, my dears. Enjoy your food. Call me if you need anything." 

"Thank you." 

Alex immediately dug in her breakfast, moaning softly at how good it was. She didn't even realize how hungry she was, especially because she left her apartment without having a small snack. 

Maggie spread butter on her bagels and added some cheese and vegetables as toppings. And Alex wasn't the only one who moaned softly. 

"We should remember this place and come back one day," Alex said, taking a sip from her coffee. "Definitely, this place is so good."

"Come back one day?" Maggie asked between two bites, looking at Alex. "I would like that."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

Alex took a bite of her bacon, a crunchy noise filled the air. "Uhm, back to your question. I'm okay. I don't regret the decision that I went to my dad's funeral. I honored the man who raised me, who helped me to become the woman I am today. And I did not waste any thought about the man who left me and my family. So, thank you for convincing me. "

But Maggie shook her head. "I didn't convince you. You made the decision on your own. I just helped you with one of my experiences. But it was you who decided to honor the man you once knew. And I'm proud of you."

"Thank you, Maggie… For everything," Alex said. So many things have been left unsaid between them, and here, in this diner, it seemed to be the perfect place to talk about it. "When I called you, I clearly wasn't thinking straight, but I'm glad I did."

A small chuckle left Maggie's throat. 

And Alex just smiled fondly at that sound. She missed Maggie terribly. "Calling you has always been on my mind when something good or bad happened in my life. I wanted to share the happiness in my life with you, and I needed to hear you say  _ I got you, Alex, it's gonna be okay. I'm here, _ when something bad happened in my life. I missed how safe I was feeling in your arms."

Maggie stopped eating her bagel, her focus was on Alex who was going to open up, and Maggie wanted to give her all the attention. 

"I didn't expect you to come. I mean, why should I have expected that? I've broken your heart, my pain was probably the last thing on your mind. But you came, and you took me in your arms. You've been there for me when no one else was. You gave me strength, showed me that my feelings are valid, that I matter."

"Alex, I'll always care, no matter what happened," Maggie reminded Alex. "A broken heart will heal someday, and I got over the pain. But Alex, I never got over caring about you. You'll always have a place in my heart."

"Maggie…" 

"Of course I did everything in my power to be there for you. And I won't stop being there for you. So, whatever is going to happen between you and me, I'll always be there if you need me… If that's something you want?" 

_ What I want? You! I'll always want you.  _

But Alex stayed quiet. Unsure if she should say this to Maggie. So, she just smiled and Maggie understood. 

Both fell in comfortable silence, enjoying each other's company and their breakfast. So much was said with just a few words. But both felt like they were on the same road, trying to become one again. 

***

"Thank you, the food was delicious," Alex said, as she put on her black coat. "We will definitely be back soon." 

Maggie nodded, placing some dollar bills on the table, putting the last bite of her bagel in her mouth. "Thank you. Best bagels I had."

"Gross."

The waitress smiled and thanked them for spending their morning in the diner. "Have a safe trip home, my dears."

Alex waved goodbye and followed Maggie outside, standing close to her. "I had fun today, Maggie. Thank you." 

"Me too," Maggie said, turning around, a soft smile on her face. "I missed talking to you. And I hope it's not the last time?!" 

"It definitely doesn't have to be the last time," Alex said, as she silently intertwined her fingers with Maggie's. "When do you have to leave?" 

"Tomorrow morning." 

"Oh." 

Maggie squeezed Alex's hand and made her look at her. "Hey, listen. I want this. I want.. you and me to make this work again. There are some things I need to take care of in Gotham, but I promise I'm coming back."

"Really?" 

"Really!" 

"So, is there something you want to do before you leave?" There was definitely something Alex wanted to do. But she was scared to overstep, afraid she was reading Maggie's signals wrong. 

"Maybe." 

"Maybe?" 

"Mhmm.." Maggie looked her in the eyes, as she pulled her closer, hands resting on her arms. "I've been wanting to do this ever since I've waited behind closed doors, waiting for you to open it to let me back in your life."

_ Oh God _ , she definitely wasn't reading her signals wrong. 

_ Kiss me. _

Fingers wove into hair, thumbs brushed over flushed cheeks and soft lips brushing hers, capturing hers, taking the moment in. And Alex sighed, melted, arms wrapping around Maggie, sharing a shy, tender kiss. She felt Maggie's laugh and a soft moan slipping over her own lips. Alex held her tight, bodies pressed together, kissing her softly, not caring about the fact they were in public. 

She had Maggie back, and both wanted to work on their relationship to make it work. 

This time forever. 

***

Maggie left for Gotham the next morning, leaving Alex behind with the promise to be back in just a few days. She had built a life in Gotham and wanted to say goodbye to the few people there she called friends. Her commissioner wasn't happy when Maggie asked to be transferred back to National City. He didn't want to lose his best detective, but ever since Maggie came to Gotham he never had seen her so happy, so carefree and he wanted what was best for Maggie. 

"I'll talk with the Captain of the NCPD tomorrow morning. Lucky bastard to have you back." Jim Gordon laughed, still kind of bitter about losing Maggie. "Gotham is a safer city because of you, Sawyer. It's gonna be hard to fill your shoes. But seeing you happy is worth letting you go. You'll be missed, Maggie." 

Jim Gordon wasn't known for showing feelings, but he always had a soft spot for Maggie. He pulled her in a bone crushing hug, and thanks to Kara and her strength Maggie is used to powerful hugs. 

A small tear made its way over Maggie's cheek, too caught up in her feelings. Saying goodbye never felt so good because she knew that a new, happier chapter is waiting for her. "Thank you, sir. For everything. I've grown so much in the last few years and learned so much. This city will be missed."

Maggie smiled, leaving the office of her ex commissioner to say goodbye to her colleagues and friends. Every single one will be missed, and the moments and memories she shared with all of them. She's going to miss her little family so much. 

"Want me to come with you to keep your girl in check and keep her from breaking you again?" 

Maggie smiled softly. Saying goodbye to Robyn was the hardest part. She caught her when she was falling. Made her smile in her darkest hour. 

"Appreciated, Robyn. I'm making sure to call you when I need your help." Maggie laughed. 

"She might be FBI and a badass, able to kick my ass, but when it's about my best friend I'll give her one hell of a fight." Robyn pulled Maggie closer, wrapping her arms around her, pressing a soft kiss on her temple. 

Maggie slightly teared up, trying to keep herself from crying. She was thankful for the friendship she had built with Robyn. "I'm gonna miss you." 

"I'll miss you too, Sawyer. But I promise I'll visit you as many times as possible. We might need to drop the occasional hookups but I don't wanna lose my drinking buddy and best friend."

Maggie laughed. "You won't lose me, Robyn and you're always welcome to visit us. You will love Alex, I promise."

One last tight hug, a kiss on the cheek and Maggie left the building saying goodbye to her life in Gotham City. Excited to start her new one in National City with the woman she never stopped loving. 

***

When she got back to her apartment, the first thing she did was calling Alex over Skype. It was ringing, once, twice and a third time before Alex's face appeared on her screen, a tired smile on her face. "Maggie, hey." And her face lit up, when Maggie smiled at her. 

"You look tired, Alex, you had an exhausting day?" Maggie made herself comfortable on the couch, pulling her hair in a loose ponytail. Her eyes on Alex, who was on her bed, head resting on her pillow, a cute yawn escaping her. 

Alex nodded, followed by an _ I miss you _ . "We had a hostage situation downtown. Your negotiation skills were missing. But we got everyone out, unharmed."

"I miss you too, Alex. And I'm proud of you for handling the situation. I'll be home soon, I promise. I'm leaving tomorrow morning." 

_ Home _ . 

It didn't go unnoticed. Both heard it and smiled fondly. 

"How was saying goodbye?" 

Maggie took a sip of her water. "I never liked saying goodbye, but it was okay. Gonna miss them, gonna miss the city and work. But I'm so excited to start my new life… with you." 

"I'm excited too. There's actually something I wanna talk to you about. But I wanna do it in person. It feels more personal." 

"Oh?!" 

"It's something good, I promise. Don't worry about it, Maggie. It's about our future." 

For a moment, Maggie was worried. She didn't know what National City would bring. If she made the right decision. But she had a good feeling about this, she really hoped she made the right decision. 

"Want me to pick you up from the airport? Or do you want me to send a private jet? I could bring you home in the next two hours." 

"You're cute, Alex. But don't worry about anything. I'm good." 

Alex blushed.  _ She called me cute _ . 

"I should let you go to bed, or you might fall asleep on me. I need you rested when I get home tomorrow." There was a small smirk on Maggie's face, and heat rose in Alex's cheeks. 

Damn Maggie and her smirk, and the effects it had on Alex. "Or may-maybe… Damn you Maggie Sawyer and your irresistible smirk. I'm gonna kiss that dumb smirk from your face."

Maggie laughed, proud of her effects to still turn Alex in a gay mess. "I'll see you tomorrow, Alex. Sweet dreams, and sleep well."

"Sweet dreams, Maggie. Can't wait to see you." She was quiet for a moment, but then she blew a kiss and made Maggie smile. 

She couldn't wait to have Maggie in her arms again, showing her how sorry she was, that she would do anything in her power to make her hers forever. 

***

Maggie groaned. 

Ever since she left her apartment in Gotham City everything got delayed. First, the taxi driver, who was more than twenty minutes late to pick her up, and then her first flight and she almost missed her connecting flight to National City. 

Boarding was almost complete, as Maggie reached her gate, breathless and angry, praying it wasn't too late for her to get on her flight home. 

The fucking universe kept interfering. And if this was the universe's way showing her that she made the wrong decision in leaving Gotham City to go back to National City, then it was the absolute worst moment. 

Half an hour later Maggie was on the plane making her way home. Nothing would keep her from starting her lifetime of firsts with Alex. Not the taxi driver who was late, or the delayed flight and especially not the universe. 

When Maggie landed, she was tired and exhausted, longing to be home, with Alex, hugging and kissing her. She wanted to fall asleep next to her, arms around Alex. 

It was past midnight as Maggie thanked the taxi driver for taking her home, leaving him a generous tip. Only a few meters were between Maggie and Alex, and the realization put a bright smile on her face. 

With a  _ thank you _ on her lips, Maggie closed the door behind her, throwing the bag over her shoulder, taking out her keys from her jeans pocket. It was Alex who placed the keys in Maggie's hand when she left for Gotham. 

Quietly, Maggie let herself into the dark apartment, the only lighting came from the street lamps, bathing the apartment in soft light. Her eyes wandered across the room and she saw Alex lying in bed, wrapped in the blanket, sleeping peacefully. 

Maggie closed the door behind her and put the bag next to it. A slight smile on her lips.

She was home. 

On the way to bed, she got rid of her clothes and wearing only panties and a tank top, Maggie carefully lifted the blanket and slipped under it. Her arm immediately wrapped around Alex's hip, feeling soft and warm skin under her fingertips, caressing it softly. 

Alex stirred slightly, feeling the tender touch on her skin as she moved in Maggie's warm. Her eyes met Maggie's, a smile on her lips and Alex brought her hands to Maggie's face, cupping her cheeks, brushing over her dimples. 

"You're home."

"Yeah, I'm home." 

Maggie leaned down, fingers brushing through soft hair and she kissed Alex softly. 

Yes, she was finally home. 

***

Waking up next to Alex was such a familiar yet new feeling. Her warm body pressed against hers, face in her neck, soft breath brushing over her skin. Maggie felt the slow rise and fall of Alex's chest, her heartbeat steady and calm. 

It was early in the morning, the first rays of sunshine bathing the couple in soft, warm morning light, quietly waking them up. 

Soft rays tickled Alex's skin, and she tightened the grip on Maggie's tank top, bringing her closer. Face burying deeper in Maggie's neck. 

And Maggie smiled softly, fingers drawing shapeless patterns on Alex's back. Her lips pressing a soft kiss on her hair. Mornings like this, spending the early morning hours with Alex in her arms, feeling her warm skin on her own, just cheering the moment, were her favorites. 

Every morning she could wake up with Alex in her arms would be a good morning.

Alex stirred in her sleep, slowing waking up. Her hand slipped under Maggie's top, caressing soft skin, sending butterflies through Maggie's body. Her lips pressing a soft kiss on her neck, nipping lightly. 

"Morning," Maggie said sleepily. 

"Morning," Alex murmured in her skin. "You are here. It wasn't just a dream I had." She looked Maggie in the eyes, hand cupping her cheek, a fond smile forming on both their faces. 

"Nope," Maggie grinned, leaning down to capture Alex's lips with hers. Melting into the kiss, Alex wrapped her arms around Maggie's neck, pulling her closer. Soft lips brushing over softer lips, Maggie's hand gripping Alex's hip a little bit tighter, keeping her still. 

Soft moans broke free, filling the air in the room with passion, lust, desire. Maggie's hand moving slowly over Alex's body, over covered skin, and then under it, pushing the shirt up, revealing soft skin. Fingers tracing slowly over her ribs, closer to her breasts and Alex moaned, as fingers traced below the curve of one of her breasts. 

Maggie deepened the kiss, tongue pushing through teeth, sparking a desire in Alex. Her hand stilled, brushing soft skin, as she felt Alex's hand on hers, moving it up, cupping her breast. Alex squeezed lightly, showing Maggie want she wanted, needed. And Maggie understood. She pushed the bra out of the way, her palm cupping the naked skin. 

Alex moaned. She closed her eyes, head falling back into her pillow, hips bucking up, and Maggie pushed her leg between Alex's, and another moan escaped Alex. Maggie's lips tracing Alex's jaw, her neck with hungry kisses, teeth nipping at soft skin, burying her face in Alex's neck. Close to her pulse point and Maggie felt Alex's unsteady heartbeat.

"Touch me, Maggie… Please."

Maggie's hand cupped her breast rougher, the hardening nub pressed against her palm. Kissing her way from her neck to her breast, Maggie blew cold air on heated skin, tongue licking over her lips, and teeth slightly scraped over her nipple. Maggie took her time in rediscovering Alex's body, wondering if her body still reacted to her touches so well. 

Alex's hips bucked again, finding ground as she pushed against Maggie's thigh. Damp panties pressed against cold skin, making them both moan. Thighs parting wider, longing to feel Maggie, and Alex pushed herself closer to her. 

Her tongue flicked over the hardened nub, as her fingers slid over Alex's body, her abs, feeling every muscle under her hand, and closer to the waistband of her shorts, nails digging slightly in soft skin, to keep Alex still. 

Alex's breathing was hard, unsteady and brushing Maggie's cheeks. Her hips bucked again, and she moaning louder, fingers tangled in Maggie's soft hair.  _ Please _ ,  _ Maggie, please.  _

It might have been years, but Maggie knew how close Alex was. A simple touch in the right place, applying the right amount of pressure could be the end for Alex. Or she could be gentle, fingers could be dancing over her heated skin, teasing her, not giving Alex the satisfaction by slipping her fingers inside. 

Slowly, her hand slipped under the waistband, feeling the heat. Both moaned when Maggie parted her with her fingers, slickness coating them. Alex shuddered under the touch, spreading her thighs wider, pressing her body against Maggie and her fingers slipped inside. "Oh, fuck." 

Maggie pressed herself against Alex's body, her own wetness covering Alex's thigh, grinding hard against it. She looked up, releasing her nub with a wet  _ plop _ . Alex opened her eyes, filled with desire and passion, her fingers threading through Maggie's hair, nodding silently. 

And when she slipped her fingers inside, Alex moaned, arms wrapped around Maggie's body, clinging to her, helping her to keep her steady. 

Hand slipping under Maggie's shirt, leaving soft marks on her back, as fingers dug in it. She clenched around Alex, moaning, hips bucking wildly. She was getting closer, with each stroke Maggie got her closer.  _ I'm here, Alex, let go.  _

Alex closed her eyes to concentrate on Maggie, her voice, her fingers, on the soft, but powerful thrusts. On Maggie kissing her, her hips bucking against her thigh. A soft moan escaped Maggie, hot breath pressing against her neck. Maggie kissed her neck when she felt Alex shivering around her fingers, hips slowing down, a breathy moan filled the air. 

Smiling, Maggie placed a soft kiss on Alex's temple, murmuring soft words in her ear, helping her to come down. 

"Oh, fuck, Maggie." Alex fell back in her pillow, hand over her own breasts, feeling her heartbeat. "I wanna make you feel good too."

Maggie snuggled in Alex's side, wrapping her arm around her waist, squeezing it lightly. "I know babe, but you look exhausted. Why don't you take a nap? I'm here when you wake up."

Alex murmured, pulling the blanket over both of them, keeping Maggie close to her heart. If every morning would start like this, then Alex couldn't wait to spend the rest of her life with Maggie. 

***

Hours later, Maggie woke up, wrapped in a blanket, a bright smile on her face. She saw Alex in the kitchen, preparing some sandwiches, her hips moving to music in her head. She got up, resting against the headboard, pulling the blanket over her knees. 

"Morning, sleepyhead. I thought you would be hungry?!" With a plate, full of sandwiches, in her hand, Alex came back to bed, placing it carefully on the mattress, before she got on her side of the bed, something else in her hand. 

Maggie just nodded, as she took a sandwich, taking a big bite. "Very hungry, thank you."

Alex beamed. This was the moment she was hoping for. "You know there's something I wanna talk about. It's nothing bad, I promise. It's about us, you and me… I'm so grateful to have you back in my life.. and bed," Alex said, with a smirk on her face. She grabbed one of Maggie's hands and opened her palm. "I know it's gonna be a long way to get there where we've been and I promise I'll do anything to gain your trust again. You will set the pace." 

Maggie didn't know what to say. She was dreading this talk, kind of. But Alex said all the right words, giving her the lead in rebuilding their relationship. "Alex, I-" 

Alex stopped her. "Please, let me finish before I stop being brave. I want us to be  _ us _ again. With all the hopes and dreams. I want that house, the garden, the dog. I want us to imagine our future again, fulfilling our dreams. So, while I'll do everything to show you that you're enough and that you're everything I need, I want you to keep those rings close to you."

Gently, Alex placed the rings in Maggie's palms, closing it softly. "Keep them safe for us, and when you feel ready to start our future, let me know." Alex leaned forward, wiping the tears away from Maggie's cheek, kissing her softly. 

Months later, when Maggie was in the kitchen, preparing dinner, Alex saw something bright and shiny on Maggie's finger. 

And with a smile on her face, Alex joined Maggie in the kitchen, hugging her from behind, chin resting on her face and a soft  _ thank you _ was the beginning of something new.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope the wait was worth it?  
> Let me know what you think :)
> 
> There's going to be another chapter but it's also going to be the last one.  
> And for everyone who has read Unlove me, I dare you, there might be a sequel :)
> 
> Come find me @leighftlima


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Midvale, years later....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for leaving kudos and comments! And for liking this story!  
> We've reached the last chapter, hope you gonna like it :)  
> There's some smut in the beginning :)   
> \-----  
> unbeta'd, all mistakes are mine!

_Midvale_

_Years later…_

Waking up early, next to her beautiful wife, was her favorite moment of the day. Having her wrapped in her arms, hands spread over her stomach, keeping her safe and close, was a wonderful feeling. Her own face muzzled in her wife's neck, soft breath brushing her skin. 

It was a peaceful moment. 

Maggie stirred lightly, the warm rays of sunshine tickled her nose. She tried to turn in Alex's arms, but her wife kept her still. 

A soft kiss was placed behind her ear, nose nuzzling in her neck. "Try to get more sleep, baby. Yesterday was a long and exhausting day."

And Maggie sighed, content. Arms wrapping around Alex's, snuggling closer to her. "But shouldn't we get up and greet your mom?" 

Alex shook her head, soft hair brushing Maggie's cheek and neck. "Just a few more minutes, baby. Mom will understand." It has been late when Alex pulled their car in the driveway of her mom's house in Midvale. 

Maggie nodded. Sleep sounded amazing. "Okay, a few more minutes." 

Alex smiled, kissing her neck softly. "We have all the time in the world," Alex whispered, fingers brushing over her stomach gently. 

When Maggie woke up again, she felt soft lips on her skin, placing small kisses all over her belly. "I love you. I love you. I love you." 

Maggie smiled, tangling her fingers in Alex's wavy hair, scratching the back of her head, and Alex looked up, a soft smile on her lips. 

"Morning, beautiful."

"Morning, dork." 

Tracing small patterns over her belly, Alex chuckled. "How are you feeling, baby?" 

Maggie brushed soft wavy hair behind Alex's ear. She loved the undercut, she really did. But ever since Alex grew her hair back out, it fitted her in her new role so much better. "I'm feeling good, Alex. Thanks to my wife who's taking good care of me."

Alex rested her chin on Maggie's hip bone, a smile on her face. "Always, baby." She bit her lips, eyes locked on the alarm clock. Despite falling asleep again, it was still early in the morning. "Do you want me to make you feel amazing too?" Alex asked, cheekily, as her lips traveled over her belly, and her tongue dipped under the waistband of her panties. 

Maggie pressed her lips together, and looked at the alarm clock too, 7.24 am. It was early, and everyone else would probably still be asleep. 

Alex looked her in the eyes, tracing soft patterns on her hip bones, blowing soft kisses on her skin, and when Maggie nodded, teeth biting her lips, Alex pulled the black fabric over her legs. "Relax, baby."

And Maggie relaxed, head resting on the pillow, as she felt Alex's hands on her legs, parting her thighs gently, placing soft kisses on her skin. 

The moment soft, warm lips closed around her clit, a soft moan escaped her lips. Her tongue flicked the sensitive bud, sucking on it gently. 

“Mmmm…” Maggie tangled her fingers in short hair, and her hips moved up to meet Alex's mouth. Maggie closed her eyes, living in the moment.

Alex held Maggie's hips down, digging her finger in soft skin. She heard her wife's moan filling the room, and Alex tightened her grip to keep her quiet. Just because it was early didn't mean Maggie could be as loud as she wanted. 

"Fuck, Alex," Maggie moaned as Alex's tongue slowly ran through wet folds, slipping inside. The grip in Alex's hair tightened, eliciting a moan from her wife. "Alex, please."

Alex looked up for a moment, want and desire in her eyes. “You're so sensitive,” Alex said, lips brushing over her thighs, nibbling lightly on the skin. “It makes touching you that much better.”

Maggie was glistening with arousal, and Alex leaned down again, tongue slowly running through wet folds. Lips sucking on the little bead again, as a finger slipped inside.

Another moan filled the room and a second finger slipped inside. And then her wife brought her closer to an orgasm, fingers thrusting softly and gently, but lips sucked hard and fast. 

"Oh, God." 

Alex felt Maggie tighten around her fingers, hips bucking wildly, and Alex curled her fingers in the right way. As Maggie came, it was hard and fast, breathing unsteady, her fingers loosened the tight grip. Alex moved her tongue over her soft and slow, helping her wife to come down from her orgasm. 

Maggie closed her eyes, hand over her heart, steadying her breathing. The orgasm was intense, taking over her whole body. She felt Alex's lips on her body, leaving soft kisses on her skin, and when she opened her eyes again, Alex was smiling at her, fingers brushing over her cheek. "That was…," Maggie said, unable to find the right word. 

But Alex just smiled and kissed her softly, hand resting on her belly, tracing small patterns on her skin. "How are you feeling, baby?" 

"Amazing," Maggie laughed. 

"And how's the-" 

But a happy bark echoing through the hallway, followed by the patter of tiny feet and soft giggles, interrupted Alex. "Next time, be quiet," Alex chuckled, pulling the blanket over Maggie, as the small giggles got closer to the bedroom Alex and Maggie shared. 

"Gerty, no!" A tiny voice said, trying to sound strict. But the puppy ignored the little girl, paws scratching at the door, barking happily. 

"Your daughter is awake," Maggie said, a smile on her face as she listened to their little girl talking to their puppy. 

"Before sunrise, she's your daughter," Alex smiled fondly, following the conversation too. 

"Gerty, our mommies get grumpy if we wake them." 

"The sun already rose, so she's all yours," Maggie said, pecking Alex's lips. "And stop quoting _The_ _Lion King_ and get dressed before our kid and puppy break into the room." 

"But Jamie loves it," Alex said, as she got up from the bed, hands running through her hair, putting on some clothes. "And you're the one who should get dressed, babe." And with a smirk, Alex closed the door to the bathroom. 

Minutes later, after doing their morning routine, Alex leaned down, stealing a kiss from Maggie. "You gonna talk to my mom today?" 

Maggie nodded. "She's gonna love it, Alex. No need to worry about it. But I want you there."

Alex smiled softly, thinking for a moment before she nodded. "Okay." And then, as she opened the door, a happy squeal and bark filled the air. 

"Mommy!" 

"Morning, baby." Alex picked her daughter up, who wrapped her arms around her neck. "Say good morning to Mama." 

Jamie smiled widely, waving excitedly. "Good morning Mama!" And then, "Gerty, no." But the puppy ignored her again, jumping on the bed, licking over Maggie's face to greet her. 

"Come on, kiddo. Let's see if your aunt and grandma are awake," Alex smiled, and she left with Jamie. 

***

Maggie stopped at the end of the stairs, a small smile on her face, as she watched her family. 

Familiar laughter filled the room, Jamie keeping everyone entertained with her stories about the little road trip she took with her mommies to drive to Midvale to visit her grandma. "Gerty barked all the time. I couldn't sleep." She munched on her pancake, chocolate sauce sticking to her cheeks and chin. 

Maggie smiled fondly, as she joined her family, Gerty following her closely. "Good morning, everyone." She got closer, placing a soft kiss on Jamie's dark hair. "Hey, pretty girl."

"Mama." Jamie tried to stand up on her chair to hug her mama, but Alex wrapped her arm around her little body to keep her still. 

"Alex, you want pancakes too?" It was Kara, her head sticking through the door, spotting Maggie. "Oh, morning Maggie."

"Morning Kara," Maggie said, as she took the seat next to her little girl. "Oh, and Alex already eat." A cheeky grin on her face.

"Oh my god, Maggie! It's 9 in the morning and your kid is sitting right next to you! No pancakes for you!" 

"That's okay, I'll eat later." Maggie couldn't resist. Teasing her sister in law was definitely one of her favorite things to do. 

Kara groaned, raising the spatula. "I have no idea what I've done to deserve this." 

Alex and Maggie laughed, and Jamie, a little bit confused about why her mommies were laughing, tilted her head looking at them. But then she remembered what her aunt said, and she looked at her Mama. "Here, Mama. I share." The little girl grabbed a chocolate sauce soaked pancake and put it on Maggie's plate. "It's yummy."

Maggie smiled softly, wetting her thumb to rub the chocolate from her daughter's cheek, taking a napkin to clean Jamie's hands too. "Thank you, baby." 

And Jamie just smiled, digging in her pancake, munching happily on it. 

"Where's Eliza?" Maggie took a bite from the chocolate soaked pancake, too sweet for her taste and she definitely needed to talk to Kara about giving her daughter too much sugar. 

"I'm right here, my dear," Eliza said, entering the dining room, hands full of food. She put everything down, and then took Maggie in her arms, hugging her gently. "How are you?" 

"I'm good, thank you. It's been a long drive down here. Alex took way too many stops."

"I did not," Alex protested, while she loaded her plate with eggs and some bacon. "Breaks are important, especially with this one." She nodded in Jamie's direction. 

"You did, but this is why I love you," Maggie said, smiling at her face. "Always taking good care of us." 

Alex blushed, mumbling something. She would always take good care of her family. No matter what. 

Maggie reached over the table, squeezing Alex's hand slightly. "Years later and I still can make you blush like a teenager."

"Stop it, Sawyer," Alex said, face hiding behind her cup of coffee, and soft laughter surrounded her. Alex looked over her cup, eyes locking on her little girl, who giggled wholeheartedly. "Oh, are you laughing at me, hmm?" Her fingers tickled Jamie's side, and a loud giggle left her little body. 

"No, mommy!" She squirmed in her seat, trying to escape Alex's tickles. Gerty barked, trying to climb Jamie's chair. 

Eliza and Kara shared a quick glance, both had a soft smile on their lips, and Eliza couldn't find the right words to describe how grateful she was for her girls.

***

"Whoa, Mommy, it's soo big." Dressed in the cutest little bathing suit, Jamie stood in front of her mom, sunglasses slipping over her tiny nose.

Alex smiled, as she dropped the surfboard in the sand. "It's my old surfboard, my dad taught me how to surf. Do you want to learn how, Jamie?" 

Jamie thought for a moment, remembering the old videos and pictures she has seen of her mom riding the waves and she was so impressed but also scared of the ocean. 

She shook her little head, the sunglasses slipped again. "I'm scared, mommy. The ocean is scary."

Alex smiled, hands reaching out to pull her little girl closer, who sat down in her lap. "The ocean can be scary, yes. But you're still little, and one day you won't be scared anymore. I promise." 

Jamie looked up at her. "Really?" 

"Really." Alex laughed, kissing the top of her head. "Where's your sun hat, baby?" And Jamie pointed in Gerty's direction. The puppy was digging in the sand, Kara right next to her, building a sandcastle. "Get your hat, baby." 

Jamie nodded, her tiny legs running as fast as they could, to reach her puppy and sunhat. "Sorry, Gerty," Jamie said, pouting, taking the sunhat, and the puppy just looked at her, nose covered in sand. 

When she reached her mommy again, Alex helped her to put it on her head. "Okay, baby, come here." The surfboard was next to Alex, buried deep in the sand. Alex lifted Jamie up, her little feet kicking in the air and seconds later she was on the board, her little tummy touching it. "Do you remember Mommy paddling in the ocean to reach the waves?" Jamie nodded. "This is almost the same. But you're not in the ocean, you're on the beach." 

And Jamie understood. Her little hands dropped to the side, touching the sand, moving up and down. 

Alex laughed, her arms wrapped around her baby to keep her safe. "Wow, Jamie look at you. You're learning so fast." Jamie giggled, digging in the sand. She was enjoying herself, and Alex's heart soared. This was everything she wanted, having a little girl to teach her all the things her dad taught her. 

Jamie paddled for a few more minutes, as Alex lifted her up, and helped her to stand on the board. "You did an amazing job, baby. Now let me teach you how to stand on the board." Alex helped her find a secure footing, with one hand wrapped around her ankle while her free arm wrapped around her body. "Once you feel safe on your board you can ride the waves. Do you want to ride the waves?" 

Jamie was confused. "How?" 

"Here, let me show you." And with a smile on her face Alex simulated waves, moving the board from one side to the other, up and down, shaking it softly, and Jamie started to wobble, waving with her tiny arms to find balance. "Yes, baby, look at you. Riding the big waves like mommy." Jamie giggled, losing her balance, falling, but Alex caught her in time, wrapping her arms around her and eyes locked with Maggie's who watched everything from a distance. And Alex knew it was about time. 

"Again, mommy!" 

"Later, baby. Why don't you play with your auntie Kara?" With Jamie on her arm, Alex approached Kara, who was cuddling with Gerty. "Kara, can you watch Jamie? Maggie and I want to talk to Mom."

And Kara just nodded, a gentle smile on her lips, knowing exactly why they wanted to talk. "Of course, come here you little monster."

With a smile on her face, Alex put Jamie down in the sand, who immediately tried to drag her aunt in the direction of the surfboard. "Come on auntie Kara, let's surf."

Kara followed her little niece. "I don't know how to surf. But I can teach you something else." Kara got in the water, ankle deep, and started splashing water in Jamie's direction. The little girl squealed, getting closer to the ocean, dipping her tiny toes in the water. And even though she was afraid, she knew she was safe with Kara. And with a loud giggle, she splashed her aunt. Gerty barking from the distance, running down the beach to join Jamie and Kara. 

***

"Hey, mom. You busy?" 

Eliza was in the living room, going through some files from work. "No," she smiled and put the files down. No matter how much work she had to do, spending time with her girls will always be her top priority.

"Okay, Maggie and I need to talk to you," Alex said, following Maggie in the living room, taking the seat next to her. "It's nothing bad," Alex said when she saw the frown on her mom's face. 

Maggie looked at Alex, intertwining her fingers with hers, squeezing softly. "Eliza, I'm pregnant." 

And Eliza just smiled knowingly. 

"You already knew, didn't you?" 

"A mother knows, Maggie. You're glowing and radiating warm and positive energy," Eliza smiled, moving closer to her daughters. "And just one look at Alex was enough. She treats you differently, with so much love and care. The same way when you were pregnant with Jamie. I'm so happy for you, my dears." She put her arms around Maggie and Alex, hugging them tightly. 

"There's something else, mom."

Eliza looked at them. "Yes?" 

"It's a boy," Alex said, arm wrapping around Maggie's belly, putting her hand on it. "And ever since we got the news we've been thinking about names… And we, it was actually Maggie's idea, and we would love to honor dad and name the little one Jeremy…" Alex interrupted herself, eyes on her mom. She had a hard time reading her mom at that moment and what she thought of it. "If that's okay with you?" 

And Eliza just cried. Jeremiah might be dead, but his spirit was going to live on with little Jeremy. "You have no idea what this means to me. Thank you." 

***

Her arms wrapped around Gerty, petting her softly, Jamie listened to her mom talking about space and the meteor shower that would light up the sky tonight. 

"... On a clear night, if you stare at the sky for long enough, you will see one of these meteors or shooting stars." Alex smiled fondly at her daughter, stroking her dark hair. "It's a rare occasion, Jamie. Not happening very often. And Midvale is the perfect place for us to be to watch the sky tonight."

"Really?" 

Alex nodded, putting her little girl in a sweater to keep her warm. "Really. The last time I witnessed it was with your grandpa. We were on the roof too, hot chocolate in our hands and we were so excited." Jamie heard many stories about grandpa Jeremiah, and she loved him deeply, even without meeting him. "And he taught me everything I know about space and our solar system. And one day, when you're old enough, I will teach you everything I know."

"YES!" Jamie pumped her little fist in the air. She was a smart little girl, eager to spend her time with her mommies learning from them. 

"We should get comfortable, it can start anytime," Alex said, wrapping the blanket around herself. 

"Wait! Mama, auntie Kara and grandma are not here." Jamie jumped up and she put her little head through the little window. "Mama! Auntie Kara! Grandma! Come on! Mommy says it's going to happen soon!" 

Alex chuckled softly. "Okay, come here, baby. They will be here soon." Alex wrapped Jamie in her blanket again. She wouldn't hear the end of it if Jamie caught a cold from spending the evening on the roof. 

"We're coming." 

Kara was the first one to step on the roof, taking the tray filled with hot chocolate from Eliza. "We brought hot chocolate." 

Jamie's eyes widened, and she made grabby hands. "With tiny marshmallows?" 

"With tiny marshmallows," Kara confirmed and handed her niece the tiniest cup. "It's hot, Jamie, don't burn your tongue."

Jamie nodded, her fingers already fishing for a marshmallow. 

Maggie and Eliza followed Kara on the roof, both already wrapped in blankets. And while Eliza wrapped her arms around her little granddaughter, Maggie settled in Alex's arms, who immediately wrapped her arms around her belly. "Hey, beautiful. How are you feeling?" 

"Wonderful," Maggie whispered, hands resting on Alex's. "You think she's going to stay awake for the meteor shower?" She nodded in Jamie's direction, who was talking to Eliza and Kara, explaining the meteor shower in her own words. 

"If Kara keeps feeding her with sugar, she'll never sleep again," Alex laughed, placing a kiss behind Maggie's ear. "I'm glad we told my mom. I can't wait to meet the little one."

"Yeah, I'm happy too," Maggie said, her eyes on her daughter. And then she caught Eliza's eyes, tears in the corner of her eyes. But she smiled, she was happy. 

And of course, it didn't go past Jamie. Still so young, but great detective skills like her mama. She gasped when she saw the tears in her grandma's eyes, and with her tiny hands, she tried to brush them away. "Grandma, why are you crying?" 

Eliza hugged her tight. "I'm crying happy tears, sweetheart. I'm happy to have you, and your mama, your mommy, your aunt Kara and soon your baby brother." 

Suddenly it became quiet, Jamie looked from Eliza to her mommies. "BA- BABY BROTHER?!" Jamie's loud voice echoed through the night, and the adults were glad that they were hardly surrounded by neighbors. 

"We didn't tell her yet, Eliza." 

"I'm sorry, girls. I really am." 

"It's okay, look how excited she is." 

And the little girl was more than excited. She was running, jumping up and down, and Alex and Maggie were both relieved, that the roof was surrounded by a barrier. But still, Alex snatched Jamie before she could hurt herself from being too excited. "Are you excited to meet your baby brother?" 

Her cheeks were red, and she pulled on the sweater, silently asking her mommies to take if off. "Yes, where is he?! 

"In your mama's belly. Wanna say hi?" 

And when Jamie nodded, confused why her brother was in there, Alex helped her wife to open the zipper of her hoodie and rolled up the shirt. "He's in there, he still needs some time to grow before he can be a part of our family." 

"Can I touch?" Jamie looked at Maggie, who nodded silently. And when the little girl leaned closer, touching Maggie's belly with her tiny hands, she whispered. "It's me, Jamie. Your big sister. Please hurry up, I wanna meet you."

Alex couldn't take her eyes off her daughter interacting with her unborn baby brother, talking to him in a soft voice. And Maggie just smiled, hands intertwined with Alex's, tears in her eyes, taking in the moment of her little family. 

"Gerty, I'm a big sister!" Jamie smiled, looking for her puppy, and when she found her, she patted the spot next to her and Gerty lay down beside Maggie, paw on her thigh. "Gerty is our puppy, you will love her. And you will love our mommies and grandma, and auntie Kara. And grandpa Jeremiah. Mommy has so many stories to tell about him…" 

"Oh my god, your daughter is making me cry," Maggie whispered, lips capturing Alex's, kissing her softly. "I'll be forever thankful you called me that night, Alex." 

Alex brushed hair behind Maggie's ear, looking her in the eyes. "I never told you, but you're _my_ reason why I'm okay again…" 

And Maggie smiled softly. "And you are _my_ reason why I'm okay again." 

Jamie looked at her mommies being all emotional, too young to understand what happened in their past. "You will get used to this, baby brother." She heard her mommies laugh, and then she added. "I can't wait to teach you everything I learned today." 

_fin_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it, that's the end, and it's a happy one :)  
> Hope you liked it, I really enjoyed writing it!  
> Let me know what you think :)
> 
> Come find me @leighftlima


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